Kristy 0:06

Welcome to Unshaken, the podcast where unwavering faith means real life. I'm Christy, and together with my husband Tony, we dive into authentic conversations, offering biblical insights and sharing stories that inspire resilience, especially for families navigating the challenges of disabilities. Join us each week as we explore faith in family and the journeys that keep us grounded in Christ. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's stand firm together.

Tony 1:04

And um, I know Christine gets to do that too with her job as director. She's dealing with parents and and with kids and uh hearing all kinds of unique stories. So we also get to swap stories when we're uh uh done with our days and as we're kind of just relaxing and chilling at home. So Christy, why don't you uh kick us off and uh talk talk to us about stories?

Kristy 1:31

So for me, I mean, I talk all the time. I have a lot of words to say. I tell a lot of stories, um, but I really believe in it. I really believe that storytelling is it's one of the most connective, most fundamental ways that we can share experience, which for me is it's at the basis of relationships, of community. I could talk about it all day long. Um, I used to work for a big school, a big university that had campuses all over the place. And I taught a sociology class. It was just an intro, Soche 100. And for the longest time, I taught it just in kind of a traditional online setting there. And then out of the blue came a pilot uh to pilot it, uh, teaching it via storytelling. And it was, I was super stoked. I was really just very lucky. I got to be part of the pilot. There's just a handful of teachers. And what it did was take the chapters of, you know, of a book and kind of make that obsolete. They recorded, they went out and met people, real life people with really cool circumstances or situations that pertained to the subject matter for the week. And they they found a way through video to have that person tell his or her story. And it was just absolutely incredible. Coolest way in the world for my students to get the information. Um, I remember there was one about a family that was generations deep in competitive barbecue. And that was the unit around culture and the passing down of recipes and of work ethic and all those sort of family things. It was, it was just really cool. Another one was about the gangster gardener. There was one Christian church across the street from a Islamic center that wasn't ready by the time the holidays came, and and it just was the story of those, those two very different groups sharing space. Just so many neat, neat ways to connect on that. Anyway, for me, it's it's as easy as breathing to to tell stories, but so many really don't. And so often, especially with my students, or you know, I think when there's just sort of a uh any sort of social distance, people feel like maybe their story doesn't matter. Like maybe it's not enough. It's too small or it's too messy, or just, you know, too ordinary, too boring. But everybody's story matters. Literally, everybody's story matters. Um, so often we underestimate our ourselves, our stories, the power of what's happened to us and what we can share about our own experience. But God can use that. God uses our stories to encourage other people to point back to his faithfulness, to build resilience, to pass lessons. It just in so many ways, God can use that. And so I want to talk about that tonight and and just the power of that, and um hopefully convince our dear listeners that their stories are powerful too.

Tony 4:52

Let's just ground this really quickly and uh in just a brief bit of scripture in uh 2 Corinthians in the very first chapter, uh, starting in verse 3, it says, Praise be to the God and Father of our of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble within the comfort we ourselves receive from God. And what this reminds me of, when I read that scripture, it reminds me of really the thing that kind of hit me square in the eyes when it came to unshaken and kind of what started the stir in in in my heart and and I think in Christy's heart too, of why we should do this. What came to mind was we were at a conference and there was many speakers at this conference and and we heard this guy, Ed Milette, who said at one point he said, You are best able to help the person you used to be. And just that line just really, really stuck with me. And that's what like kept running through my head as Christy and I were were on our way home. You guys have heard kind of the story of when I kind of looked over at Christy and said, Why don't we do a podcast? And so, but but really it was it was that line about like how could we help you know the the couple that we used to be, you know, the people that we used to be. The way that we're best able to do that is by sharing our stories and and sharing those experiences like Christy said. You know, to to be able to to help someone uh sort of relate. You guys have have heard my testimony a couple times on this podcast. I'm not gonna go over it again, but but what I will say is that the stories and the there's like little moments that because of my testimony I'm able to share with others that also have a physical disability that immediately shows that understanding and they know that that I get where they're coming from. They know I understand that frustration, that anger, and they don't want to be angry, at least many of them don't want to be angry, they don't want to be bitter or whatever, um, but they get it, they understand it.

Kristy 7:45

I think your authenticity in sharing your true story that you were angry, that you railed at God, that you had these deep emotions that you know that you struggled, it makes it makes it feel safe for other people. I guess that's what I'd say. It makes it feel safe for other people to be that vulnerable and that authentic with you. For me, that happens in the classroom. So when I get a group of new students, I stand up there at the front and they sit there and look at me, and neither side knows what we're gonna get. They have no, I mean, it's a new teacher, new class, new whatever. They don't know how that's gonna go. And I'm sitting there thinking, oh, please let them talk. Please let this be a group that talks, that shares. Um, and what I've learned over the years is that my students are only as open and authentic with me as I am with them. It has become part of like part of the way I get to know them. And not that I'm more important, but more importantly, how I can show them the safety in being open with me is is by sharing, you know, from my own life, stuff that happens in my own life. And of course, they're my students, so I'm not going to share anything like super personal or whatever. That's not appropriate. Um years ago, I had a group of students who were, um, it was a night class. They were tired when I got them. Um, it was a sociology class. And, you know, we would come in, they would come drag it in at six o'clock at night. Class went from six to ten. Um, and they would come in and they were tired and whatever. And I just had a hard time connecting with that group. And one night, this was when the kids were little, and E had, I won't say imaginary, he had an invisible friend named Whois It. Um, and Whois It? Whois it was a lot. She was um, she had a birthday one time, and she went, she asked for an iPhone for her birthday. She wanted to go to Disney for her birthday. Who is it? Was whatever, I think whatever E needed or wanted to express that um that she didn't feel like she could say, Who is it came out with it. And she had this whole family. She had a sister um named Maggie and a friend named Brooklyn, and they had a dog named Sam. It was this whole family of invisible people. But anyway, I would tell my students um about something about who is it. The first time I mentioned her, of course, they laughed and they, you know, they thought that was kind of funny and whatever. And it got so they would come in and they'd say, Miss Baldwin, what did who is it do this week? And I would tell them, and it would just kind of break the ice every week. It was, you know, it just made for a comfortable setting. And then they would tell me what happened in their weeks. And for me, as a teacher, especially because the the groups of students that I always um have gotten to work with have been just super non-traditional, and a lot of them don't have somebody to open up with. And so my hope was always that in sharing of my own life that they would feel comfortable sharing stuff with me, and especially sometimes it would be hard stuff. And just because we had that relationship, um my hope was always that it would make it easier for them.

Tony 11:18

You know, one of the things that that I've always kind of understood, um, it's that phrase of like people won't care what you know until they know that you care. And I think one of the ways that that you show that is by being vulnerable, you know, by sharing of yourself in in a way that prov provides that safe, kind of space. A friend of mine, you know, Jason, who used to be a youth minister, uh also my boss at FCA, you know, he used to always say that he would be vulnerable with the students because he wanted the students to know that he wasn't perfect and he wasn't trying to be perfect. Yes, he was a youth pastor and and there's you know, there's a certain standard or a certain level, you know, that he's gotta maintain, but he would he would share with them, hey, you know, I'm struggling this week, or you know, I really had a hard time with my quiet time this week, or whatever the you know, whatever the case may be, you know, he he wanted them to know that that just because you had a title or whatever, it didn't make life easier or you just had to keep going. For me, I I I've thought back this week about all the different stories that I that I've heard, and I I have to tell you, and and I and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, there's not a story that I've heard that hasn't given me goosebumps in one way or another, even if the person thought, oh well, my story isn't much. There's always been something about the story that has impacted me in one way or another.

Kristy 13:17

This makes me think about it makes me think about moms and how I remember when I was pregnant, but especially when I was pregnant with Felicity because she was the first. I I was terrified, right? I think we all hear horror stories like out in the in, you know, in the general public about like, oh, it's having babies is so hard, and you know, all of the things, and we imagine what it's gonna be like, and doctors can tell us, you know, whatever they have to say about it. But what really gave me comfort was in hearing from other mothers their birth stories. I think first of all, there's something there's just something so grounding in one woman sharing something so very, very basic, like to the core of her being as becoming a mother. It's I mean it it's I mean it's transformational. There's there's nothing in the world that you know that changes your status so readily as the birth of a child. And to be able to share, you know, whether it was an easy story or a a tough birth situation, it doesn't really matter because I think it's the safety that's created in the sharing of something so foundational that that brings that trust. And for me, hearing from from women, especially older women, that you know had not just given birth to kids, but had raised them, um, that's where the the most comfort came was from the stories of those other women. If doctors could tell me all day long, oh, it's gonna be fine, this is what you can expect, this is how long, you know, whatever. But it was hearing from from other other moms in the form of their stories that it really was so impactful. And that's a cultural thing too, right? Like that's something that's it's something that we pass down. I don't know. I feel like I want to say so many words about it, but I can't even access them because it's such an emotional thing.

Tony 15:33

Well, I I think too, um not to the same extent as as mothers, but I I think uh the same kind of deal applies to dads. You know, there's I was terrified with my first daughter. Like I uh like you you're telling me that you're sending me home with this thing, and like I have to take care of it and and feed it and and there's no book to tell you what like how to look up the directions on how to work it, yeah. No, there's no there's no instruction manual, there's there's nothing. You just have to you you take home that bundle of joy and you have to figure it out, and you have to figure it out every day.

Kristy 16:20

I remember coming home with Felicity. We had her in one of those little bucket car seats, and we put her on the coffee table, and we sat on the couch, and we sat there and watched her like she was a TV. Like we just didn't know, we didn't know what was gonna happen. She slept.

Tony 16:40

And you know, I I think for for me with with with Erica, the the best thing that I did as a dad was I I I let Erica turn me into a human jungle gym, and Erica climbed all over me, and honestly, I loved it. I absolutely loved having that baby on my back, on on our arms around my neck, what what and like I've got so many so many pictures. I need to dig some of them out. I've I've got so many pictures of her on my back, on around my neck, whatever, and and I I loved every single moment of that. I w I wish I can go back to those to those moments just just to have her that close again. Um time goes by really really fast. So if you've got a little one, squeeze them a little tight tighter today, tonight, because time goes by really, really, really fast. Um so we en enjoy that time. But you know, the stories matter and you know, the stories as a dad, you know, I I leaned on my dad, you know, and and I I started to think about all of the different, you know, lessons that that you know he tried to teach a hard-headed Tony when when I was growing up that rolled my eyes and remembering them now, it those things were precious because I I just remember so many things about how he said you'll remember this when you become a dad and and all these and and all of that stuff just comes rushing to your mind in in in those in those moments and and man it it it is just so impactful and and it's the ordinary things. You know, it's uh it's the little things that like seem mundane, seem boring, but they're they're nuggets of gold to a new dad, you know, that has never done this before. So yes, share your stories, share those those things because it's so so important.

Kristy 19:08

I think another thing that that this can do, it and I kind of alluded to it earlier, but it almost can unlock somebody else, somebody who has a story that they need to tell. I'm thinking literally to last night I had a student and she she's been messaging me, you know, all kinds of questions, and she wants to, she's really wants to make the the dean's list constant questions, a long stream of text messages. And um she had I she had struggled with something, and I messaged her, and it kind of got to be a little bit of a back and forth, back and forth. And we we were really talking, and I ended it with, I'm really proud of you. You know, you've you've done a good job. And all of a sudden, she like she messages me and she's like, I can't believe you said that. You know, I I felt like through getting to know you that you were gonna, you know, we were gonna somehow connect and you know, whatever. But she's like, I had no idea. She's like, you're the first person that I've been able to talk to like this in forever. Her mother's in rehab and her dad passed away. She has a brother, he lives in Australia, and this woman is so isolated. But because of the sharing that we did, she felt comfortable enough to talk to me and to tell me this story. And she was sending me um like TikTok videos that she had posted about her mom and her, you know, just really sharing stuff because she was so just so hungry for connection, you know. And so I I feel like sometimes one story kind of begets another, and you never know what's what's been just bottled up in somebody that needs to come out.

Tony 20:55

You know, in this in this world and and age of of social media, in so many ways, like we're we're connected to the world, but in that connection, we've become disconnected when it comes to the like real relationships where where you're truly sharing and you're truly you know giving of yourself. And and that's not how we were designed to be. You know, God designed us as relational beings. Number one, to have a relationship with him, but number two, to have a relationship with each other. And for all the different connections and all the different social media platforms, you know, and all and all the different ways that we have to get a hold of each other, in a lot of ways we get a hold of each other even less because we have social media. And because we have all these different ways, we we assume, oh, okay, you know, I'll I'll text them later, or I'll FaceTime them later, or I'll do this thing, and then you end up not doing any of that stuff, and it just becomes a series of snapshots. Well, that's not true sharing, that's not true vulnerability. Those snapshots and those moments are museum pictures, it's just artwork that someone has created to put out there and to give off an image that they want others to believe. But true life and true connection is in is in the messy, it's in the the the day-to-day grind, it's in the mundane, and like going to the grocery store, you know, walking in a park, taking a ride on a train with with someone, and staring out the window at at the scenery as it as it goes by, noticing the colors of a sunset or a sunrise. One of my favorite activities is just holding my wife's hand. And I'm not just saying that because she's sitting in front of me. I I truly do enjoy holding my wife's hand, and it's just a connection that we're able to have as we're going through life, whether we're walking into a grocery store, we're walking into work, or we're walking home. Connection matters. It brings to mind, and and this is one of the things that I was so excited about this episode to record was what just the different things and the different lies that that we believe when it comes to our stories. And we've kind of alluded to all of them, you know, so far, but but let's just go through them, you know, one by one. And um, and to me, like these are just like the top three, there's more, but you know, the first one, I it's too ordinary. My story is too ordinary. And there is no too ordinary. Your ordinary story, if if that's what you consider it to be, is gonna be impactful to someone who is currently in that same season. Your ordinary story that you're able to tell when you're 40 years old is gonna matter to that 30-year-old because they know that you're 10 years up the road and you've walked through that same path that they're going through. I tell people all the time that I am 10 years ahead of where I would be as a leader, but it's simply because I've been able to watch my wife be a leader, and I've been able to learn from her. Now, do we have the same leadership style? No, we don't, but I've been able to learn from her as she has led teams, as she has led individual people, as she leads her students, and so all of those lessons I've been able to either apply directly or modify to kind of fit my style when it comes to leading other teams, when it comes to leading, you know, volunteers, when it comes to trying to disciple someone, you know, who's got some uh some kind of physical challenge or something like that. All of those lessons I've learned through watching my wife do it before I did. The opposite extreme of you know, it's too messy. I my my story's too messy, I'm too broken. There is no too messy, there is no too broken. Those stories that when when you feel like you're too messy or or too broken, guess what? You're right where God wants you to be.

Kristy 26:28

That's what makes you relatable. Yeah. And whether it's maybe it's a double win, maybe it's you getting that messy story that you that makes you feel some kind of way. You didn't even want to talk about it, getting that off your chest. Maybe that gives safety to somebody else to tell or relatability and makes them feel like they're not alone. You know, if we only tell the pretty stories like we do on social media, you know, no one knows the real us. And, you know, I guess that's the opposite, right? Is those pretty stories on social media make us feel bad. But seeing the real life stuff, telling those messy stories that we're not super proud of, every, you know, every word of them, that's the stuff that that makes us whole in the sharing and in the hearing.

Tony 27:18

And it's in it's in those, it's in those moments that we're able to provide comfort to those that we're telling the story to. That's what the scripture was talking about. Where when we share and when when we do life together, we're comforting each other, even in the messy, even when you're in that pit, like we talked about last week, that's where that empathy comes in. When you're able to share that story, that messy story, you know, that broken story where where you were a monster or whatever, that that means something. You know, Christy and I, we you know, we've been privileged to be a part of you know, a few um marriage retreats where we were kind of the facilitators for for these retreats. And one of the things that I'm not that I'm proud of it, but one of the things that I do share with people is that when Christy and I were dating, I was horrible to her. And and I and and Christy says we're we're horrible to each other, and and but I mean that's the reality of it. The reality is is that we were horrible to each other when we were dating. You know, we almost lost each other multiple times when we were dating. Christy and I joke with each other now, we call it call it our dark ages, our stupid time. And like, and it truly was. You know, and and there's nothing pretty about that. There's not there's nothing pretty, there's nothing ordinary, there's you know, there's nothing clean about that. It was extremely messy. But you know what? It it it made us stronger today. It really does. Here's the thing, guys, like I am able to do some pretty cool and amazing things today, but it's because I've learned to take risks, and one of the reasons why I'm able to do that is because I have a wife behind me that believes in me so much that when she puts her arms around me, it's like I got Superman's cape on and I can do incredible things because this woman believes in me. But I know that she does because we we've gone through the messy. We've been broken. We've broken each other. And because of that, and because we've come out the other side, we're able to help other couples that that are in those seasons. And you know what? If you're in that season right now, it's okay. We serve an amazing big God who sees us in the mess, who is waiting for us to invite him in to the mess. And when when we do that, he rolls up his sleeves and he gets down in there and he says, Okay, let's clean it up. And it's not gonna happen overnight. It's one day at a time, it's one step at a time. And it's learning that when you fight, you're fighting with you're fighting with your partner, not against them. It's you two versus whatever's going on. It's not you two, it's not you versus the other. It's not Tony versus Christy. It's Tony and Christy versus whatever the issue is at the moment. Can I do some pretty amazing things now? Yeah, I can, but it's because I have this woman by my side that I know loves me and I know would be with me no matter what hell we had to grow no matter what hell we had to go through. But again, it came from a very messy and broken story that we lived through, that we wrote together. And those chapters are hard.

Kristy 32:03

They are, but it's um it's ordinary, right? It's people living life not seeing eye to eye, fighting, growing, you know, learning to learning to live in harmony together. Just it it's all just regular life, and those ordinary stories, I think, can give hope. Um the broken stories they reveal God's grace. Um, the unfinished stories show us we're still walking with him.

Tony 32:37

This sort of excuse of, you know, it's not finished yet. Well, thank God it's not finished yet, because if it was finished, you wouldn't be here anymore. If God was done with you here on this earth, guess what? You wouldn't be here anymore. You'd be standing in front of him. And the one question that he would ask is, What do you think of my son Jesus? That's the one and only question you have to answer. And it's pretty simple. Either Jesus is Lord or he's not. And if he's Lord, guess what? He's gonna open up those gates and he's gonna he's gonna say, Well done, my good and faithful servant. Come come on in and enjoy your master's table. And if not, well there's some consequences if not. But nobody's story is is finished yet. We're still writing. Christy's story is not done yet. My story's not done yet. And that's okay. It's how it should be. Keep writing, keep going. Don't give up on things, and don't not share because you think it's not complete yet. Share it anyway, and invite those that you care about and that care about you to come on the journey with you. Help write that story, help write that next page, help write that next chapter. Christine, you want to add something to this?

Kristy 34:18

Just that it matters. Your story matters however ordinary, however broken, however unfinished, you know, however irrelevant or small it might feel to you, share it anyway. Because it's it's in that sharing that we're connected, and it's in that connection that we build safety and trust. And you know, we great things grow from that. Love, friendship just makes it a whole lot better place to be when we're connected that way.

Tony 34:50

And so, I mean, that's what we would invite you to do this week. You know, don't just listen to this episode and and tuck it away, but take a step in this episode. Share your story with someone that you care about. Write down your story in in a journal or a legal pad, something like that. And Christy's smiling at me because that's her favorite thing to write on is legal pads. She, if there's one thing that I know Christie is always gonna have around her, it's gonna be a legal pad. I have them everywhere. She has legal pads everywhere, and I'm not joking, they are literally everywhere around here. So, but whatever wherever you like to write, and maybe for you that's a it's a word doc on a laptop, write down your story. It matters, it's worth it. If you guys do have any prayer requests, we would be so honored to be to be praying alongside you and to be praying for you. Drop a prayer request in the comments, follow us on social media, send us an email, whatever, whatever it is that you would like to do, however, it is that you would like to contact us and reach out, do it. We would be so so happy to be able to um pray with you and pray for you. We hope that you guys have seen, um, especially recently, that we have started calling this the unshaken family, and we mean that. We want this community to grow stronger together, and you guys, every time you listen, every time you hit play, you guys are a part of the unshaken family, and we love you guys so much for that. We thank you guys so much, we appreciate you guys so much. This is never gonna be about the numbers, it's always gonna be about the stories. I want to just give a a special shout out. We hit over 200 cities in this last week, and trust me when I say it like Christy and I are blown away by that, that in 200 different places around the world somebody has stopped, one of you has stopped, and press play on one of our episodes, and we couldn't be more thankful and grateful for that. We had no idea, but it's it's you guys that make it happen. So continue to share your story, share your story with us if if you're comfortable in doing so. We would love to hear those stories and and to be able to read those stories and just marvel at how incredible each and every one of you are. Because you are you're made in the image of God, and that makes you incredible.

Kristy 38:02

So, just a couple little things. Just for the for saying it out loud, number 200. If you are from Medford, Oregon, you are number 200 for us. That's the 200th city. So I hope you're listening to this, and I hope you know that you matter. Like every single one of you matters. You are the the first person in the 200th city, and we thank you. All right, so I guess in summary, don't underestimate your story. Tell it. Doesn't matter if it's short, it doesn't matter if it's messy, it doesn't matter if it's of brokenness, of hurt, or, you know, if it's a joyful little thing that happened to you this morning, it doesn't matter what your story is, share it. God is not going to waste it. Somebody else, somebody who hears it, may need exactly what it is that you've lived through. They may what you have to say may be exactly what they need to hear. Don't withhold that from somebody out of fear or shyness or or just the thought that it may not be good enough, because I promise it's good enough. No matter what it is, it's good enough. Shall I pray us out? Please do. God, we come before you tonight with just hearts full of joy and gratitude for the stories that we have lived, the stories that you have orchestrated in our lives, and just allowed us the blessing and the opportunity to share with others. Please give us courage, all of us, our entire unshaken family, to share those stories with each other, to have the courage to tell their story. Um, and also the the open hearts and the open minds to hear what you have for us and the stories that others share with us. Um please just give us eyes to see how you're at work and what what everyone has to share. We love you and we thank you for just for these opportunities and um and for the opportunity to share the greatest story of all, which is the story of salvation through your son. Uh, we we just love you so much, and we ask all of this in his beautiful name. Amen.

Tony 40:22

Amen. Thank you guys so much for joining us again. We hope that you guys have a great day and a great rest of your week.

Kristy 40:32

Bye, friends. Love you.

Tony 40:34

See you next time.