Kristy 0:06

Welcome to Unshaken, the podcast where unwavering faith is real life. I'm Christy, and together with my husband Tony, we dive into authentic conversations, offering biblical insights and sharing stories that inspire resilience, especially for families navigating the unique challenges of disabilities. Join us each week as we explore faith family and the journeys that keep us grounded in Christ. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's stand firm together. Hi friends, welcome back to Unshaken. I'm really glad you're here today. This is Christy, and you have me by myself today. And I want to talk about joy. For me, joy feels like something that is available pretty much all the time. It's not always big, it's not always dramatic, but it's there. It doesn't mean that everything is perfect, but in every circumstance, in every day, every moment, I just feel like there's these small, ordinary, just joyful things all around. And so if we're willing to notice it and if we feel able to pick it up, it's there. I think for some people, joy might feel maybe more complicated. I think sometimes it probably feels out of reach or it might feel inappropriate to feel joy when things are heavy, when it's a tough situation. I don't think sort of either perspective is wrong. I think you're just very different. But for me, joy is not something that I wait for. It's something that I that I engage in, that I practice. I don't want to give the impression that I think that joy means that everything is easy because it doesn't. But I do think that joy means refusing four hard things to be able to steal like all of the good in a day or in a season. Um it's, I think just life isn't meant to be like that. I think God has for us everything in balance. And even in the the toughest situations, I think there's um, I mean, there's his joy. It's that's I think that's how he designed it. At least for me, that's how it feels. So today I want to talk about the kind of joy that lives in our real lives, in our real days, when marriage is messy, when there's chronic illness or a disability, when we're tired, when things feel complicated, family situations, financial situations, prayers that are just we've had them for a long time, and maybe we're not hearing the answers that we want, or maybe the answer has been no. I think there's still joy. And I don't think it's always like super shiny and and exciting, but it's there. I think it's durable. I think it's sturdy, and I think it's always there. So for me, I guess I would say that it's it's kind of what helps you keep going. It's it's what keeps you breathing when life feels very heavy. Let's start with our scripture anchor. And before I give you the actual verse, it's gonna come from Nehemiah chapter eight. It's a verse that we've all heard a bajillion times, but I I didn't know the circumstances around it. So I looked it up. Um, and what I learned is that so in this, in this chapter, uh Nehemiah 8, um, the the Israelites had returned from Babylon. They had just finished rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem, and they were feeling really close to God and wanting connection, wanting reconnection with God. And um, so Ezra, who was a scribe, read the law to these people. They had asked for it, and so he read the law. And as he read, they realized how far they had gone, like how far they had strayed from God's commands and from what he had wanted for them. And so they started to weep and to mourn. Um, like seeing what was happening, uh, Nehemiah and Ezra and the Levites, um, they just interrupted everything. They said, you know, stop. This is a holy day. There's no reason to be upset. And so that brings us pretty much to verse 10, where Nehemiah said, Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength. What I really love about that is that it came in a situation where people felt badly, and they felt badly because they probably should. They had done wrong, they had strayed, and then it was just a like a guilty, regretful, I guess is what I would say, um, feeling. And even in that situation, even when it's not about like a circumstance that we didn't cause or that we didn't have control over, even in that situation, I think joy is available and I think God wants us to have it. Before I get too far up the road on this, let's talk about what joy isn't. Um, because I I really want to be very clear that this is not sort of a toxic positivity episode or anything like that. Um, joy is not pretending that things are okay when things are not okay. You know, I think we've all had not just situations but seasons in life when things are not fine. It might be a season of grief, it might be a season of loss or just real struggle, I think, particularly um for families that live with disability. Life can just be exhausting. It can be very, if it can just wear you out and put you through the ringer, um, not just in terms of energy, but emotionally. It can sort of cause you to almost divert joy because it feels like a luxury that you don't have time for. This isn't ignoring grief or disability or stress or um maybe a strain on a marriage or a money situation. And it's not laughing, you know, when you want to cry. It's not anything that replaces difficult situations. It comes alongside them. I cry, I get overwhelmed, I get frustrated, I am rude, I, you know, I get sad, I get all of the things tired. But for me, I refuse to give hardship sort of the final word on how I'm gonna feel. And I think that that's what God wants for me. Um personally, I think it's what He wants for all of us. Joy is so much about what we choose to notice, you know, because it's it's always out there, right? The things that bring joy for me are things that are already there. And if I'm not paying attention, then I don't pick up the joy. But how many times have you been driving home and just seen a sky that just stops you, just cold? You look up and you're like, there is nothing, no one could have done this except my God. It's it's just majestic in its beauty, and it just sort of arrests you for a minute. And for me, the joy that comes with that and the gratitude are just it just floods me sometimes. A couple days ago, our church had a women's night, and the theme was truly loved. This was the first um sort of event like that that I've done with this church. So I really had no idea what to expect. Um, and I pulled in and there's cars everywhere, just like as many cars as if it was Sunday morning. And I'm thinking, first of all, how is this possible? Because half the congregation's gotta be men. Um and you know, in uh in hindsight, it wasn't. It was about half. Um, but um, there were food trucks everywhere, there was music playing, a DJ, there was like all kinds of just super cute um like places to take pictures with your friends or you know, selfies. They had mirrors set up with uh flowers and so you could take um just cute selfies, like whatever. It was just very, it was just set up to bring just joy. Um there was like there were candy tables, there was um well, okay, so let me tell you my favorite part. So I walked up and there was this, um, there were probably three or four big tables set up with these little three by three inch canvases. And they had um, you could stick a magnet to the back of it, and there were paint markers. And what they were asking you to do is to make a magnet for yourself for your fridge that said something that you need to be reminded of. Just um, and for me, I just wrote on there truly loved, because sometimes it's hard for me to take that in, to take in sort of the grace that comes with that love and that just complete, just all-encompassing, beautiful love. I made flowers, whatever it was, girly, but ah, there was so much joy in that for me, just in the just the few minutes of um just being a little creative, and that somebody had been so thoughtful to put this event together in a way that made me feel like they had me in mind when they did it. And um, if they had me and like 700 other women in mind when they did it, but it just felt like such a gift to be able to focus on just things that are beautiful and things that were thoughtful and things that like obviously love and prayer had gone into um the planning for these things. And so, I mean, it was just it was just really neat. Gosh, today I went to Kohl's to return some Amazon stuff, and it brought me joy to just walk around and look at the pretty things, like the pretty housewares that are out for spring and the little um wreaths for your door and all the little duck stuff. And it was just cute, it was fun, it brought me joy. You know, a student smiles and my heart just lights up, even if it's a horrible day, it could be the most horrible of days. And one of those kiddos just, I mean, they just turn it around with just a the reach of a hand or a beautiful smile on their sweet faces. You know, you come home and the house is quiet. Maybe there's a cat stretching in the sun, and it's those things, right? It's those small things that happen as part of everyday life. And we can operate without them. We I mean, they're happening whether we're paying attention or not, right? Like so many other things. But if we can just pay attention and collect the joy from those moments, I just feel like it can be, I mean, just really pivotal. I think joy comes in those micro moments, right? And I think we miss it because we're looking for, I mean, I guess you could say we're looking for a macro change. But it's these micro moments that add up to so much joy. Shifting gears a little bit, you know. I think when you live with ongoing situations, ongoing stress or disability, finances, chronic illness, strained relationships. I think in those situations, if you decide that joy only comes when it's all resolved, when it's all put aside, when it's all finished, for me, that's how you starve. Like that's how you starve your heart. Because joy doesn't mean that I'm satisfied with everything that's happening. It doesn't mean I'm, you know, I'm happy with my circumstances. It just means that I'm gonna refuse to let the struggles, the difficulties define like my emotional state entirely. I'm gonna fight for a piece of it back. And again, I I think God has this for us. He provides those opportunities incessantly. I think every one of those things, every, you know, on this podcast before I've talked about just the joy that I get in watching the squirrels outside my window. It's everywhere, right? It's anywhere you look. Like I'm just looking around this room and, you know, in a home, in a, in a place where I feel loved and safe with people who are good and, you know, um, enough to eat and um, you know, TV to watch, and you know, I can still see flowers that are from Valentine's Day. Like, I mean, it's for there's so many, so many things around me could could bring joy or could just be part of the woodwork if I wasn't paying attention. And I don't mean to say that like that I'm good or that there's anything, you know, superior about somebody who notices versus somebody who doesn't notice. But what I will say is that the person who notices has more joy. I mean, because that's how you get it, right? You just get it by by taking it in. You don't have to manufacture it, you don't have to do anything except just see the opportunities that God puts. Let's talk about some some scripture here. Nehemiah says, the joy of the Lord is your strength. I think there's so much value in that, in tying joy to strength. When there is no joy, I think it's really easy to let the darkness to let feeling hopeless or feeling exhausted. Like that's what fills up the space. And if we can't push that back a little bit and make room for the joy that's there for us to take, for us to it just it's I feel like it feeds us to to help us keep fighting, you know, those dark things, those heavy things, the hard things. Maybe it's just everyday life that's those hard things, right? Maybe it's it's just living with disability or with struggle. Think about Paul, you know, and the joy that he had, the joy in the Lord that he felt under so much persecution. I mean, like it's just mind-blowing to think about that. Guys, I mean, think about Jesus, you know, and and how he was treated here on earth and how much joy it brought him to just love, to just be here to love us. Again, I want to be real clear that I don't think joy is like some sort of evidence that life is easy or that things aren't hard, but it is proof that hope is there. Because I think joy is tied to all of those good things. It's tied to energy, it's tied to joy, it's tied to or excuse me, tied to hope. And I think all of that is from God. It's it's one of those really cool things that He does where it looks simple, but it's not. It's, I mean, it's it's this robust little package, right? It's like the they say the banana is like the the world's most perfect snack or something like that. I've heard. Um, it's like that, right? It's there's so much that comes when you just notice this little thing of joy. I mean, just this little, the way the light comes down from the, you know, through the tree leaves, or about to get the first irises of the year. I usually have them by Easter in my yard. And that is such a huge joy for me. I have always felt like God gave me um irises for Easter, and then He gives me gardenias for Mother's Day. Like that's how things bloom. And there's just so much joy in that. And the reason I bring these up, and the reason that I bring this up, that it's they're like tied to these annual events for me, is that part of joy for me is the expectation. It's knowing that it's coming, it's knowing that it's there. And to me, that's God's goodness, that's God's faithfulness just showing up in ways that really um are very tangible to me. I just, ah, it just gives me so much gratitude to know that that these things are coming for me and that I really just think they're they're gifts directly from Him. You know, I understand why some people aren't able to accept joy, maybe outright reject joy sometimes. Like, I get it. Maybe it feels unsafe because you could lose it, because that feeling could be taken away in the next moment by something that's harder. It might feel dishonest or just not organic, you know, when there's problems in in your life or or your circumstances. It might make you feel like you could be disappointed. Maybe, I mean, I think a lot of people probably grew up being told that, you know, seriousness is the way that we handle hard things. I mean, I don't judge that. I I get it, I really do. But I don't agree that withholding joy from ourselves, that that keeping distance from joy or that refusing to pick it up, I don't think that protects us. And I don't think I don't think that it makes us any more faithful or any more committed to managing the stresses and the struggles that we're that we're facing. Um, I guess I kind of feel like for me, joy is almost, it's almost like resistance. I think it's resistance against despair. It's resistance against giving up. It's I'm just not willing to to live that way. I'm not willing to live in the absence of joy, not when it's right here, right? Not when it's not, when it's perfectly available for me to pick it up. I can see where things are hard and I can acknowledge that there's grief, that there's strife, but I'm still gonna notice beauty, right? I'm still gonna notice that those things are there, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna wait for things to be perfect before I feel joy, before I feel alive, and before I feel connected. And I think I've said a lot of words to to not get back to, to not bring this this around full circle until just now it kind of washed over me that joy is a way that I feel connected to God. I think part of it is because I think joy is it's a gift. I truly do think it's a gift directly from him. But I also think that it's a way for him to show his goodness, to show his love and even his his power, right? Because when things are tough, it feels like nothing can break that. Sometimes it just feels like it's gonna always be like that. But God can do anything and he does. He he wants that for us. And I think I just think joy is it's such a it's such a direct manifestation of his love and his his ability to overcome anything like that. If this is something that um that resonates with you, if I had a friend this week, somebody that I really love, and um I messed, we message each other, you know, from time to time and just um you know, try to be supportive and and I don't know, just pray for each other. And um, I did ask her if what you know, what can I pray this week for you? And um she she asked that I would pray that she would choose ways to um to see the beauty in in the everyday. Her everyday is tough right now. She's got just a whole lot of things going on, and none of them are very much fun, unfortunately. It's just a tough season. And her soul is just so beautiful, she's so loving and so gentle, and she gives nothing but just kindness and joy to others. Like, no matter what her her circumstances, no matter what her struggles are, she doesn't bring that out like in company. So she she just bears it. And like in that situation, like I want nothing more than for her to have the joy of the Lord. Like, and I think that's what he wants for her. And you know, what I messaged her back was, yeah, absolutely, I'll pray for that. And I know he's gonna do it because I know that's what he wants for you. He doesn't want your days to be hard. You know, it's we live in a broken world and stuff is really, really difficult sometimes, but God wants us to have abundant joy. I mean, not just like glimpses of it, but he wants us to grab hold of it. And I mean, for me, I I think, you know, joy can abide, but it's the it's the fleeting places where it just I mean, it just shows up in moments that that feed that um that abiding sense, right? If this is something that resonates with you, if it's something that you are interested in. interested in you know in pursuing just start looking for it you know think about the stereotypical places right like think about you know the the beauty of of nature the beauty of creation you know those sunrises those sunsets flowers the funny little things my dad feeds birds and I don't mean like hummingbirds or the like he puts up bird seed I mean like he stands out front of the house and there's there's a family of night herons that come and they will eat out of his hand he has names for them there's Jimmy and Squire Ethel is one of the girls there's a snowy egret named Fred that comes um and there's one that I call Ned and that just means not Fred that's my abbreviation for for that um I don't know what that one's name is but my dad will stand out there if they come he's got one of those ring doorbells my parents do and my dad will stand in the front yard and feed those birds and talk to them in the gentlest voice just like they're children just like I don't know just like he feels so honored that they would just come looking for him and they do um they know my dad if I'm there I can feed him but I have to throw this stuff I can't they won't come to me and take it from my hand like they do from him in such a beautiful way my dad has cultivated joy for himself in that situation and God has facilitated it. Look for things look for opportunities like that. For me when I wake up cross and it's just a bummer day from the outset I go through Donald's and get a diet coke and a I don't know a sausage biscuit or something. But when I get to the window I say can I please pay for the guy behind me and it's not because I I mean it's not that guy was planning on paying for his own breakfast or whatever but it just it just gives me a lift it just gives me a little moment of you know whatever felt so bad it I was able to push it out of the way for a minute and just think about something nice think about something happy when you see these things call them out say them out loud talk about um you know the beauty that you're seeing or how you might be able to you know to cultivate it how you might be able to extend the joy from the situation that you're looking at maybe it's that you you build a birdhouse right maybe you make a birdbath or you know whatever like that maybe um maybe it's that you get outside more maybe you you know you take walks or maybe you take walks with your kiddo or maybe you just get up a few minutes earlier and you just read a little bit read your Bible read you know some sort of something that connects you that makes you feel just seen and held by God in those moments and just talk to him because there's so much joy in just that right I mean it's everywhere. It's absolutely everywhere it could be um you know something that you you know it might be that the the juice particularly is sweet or gosh this was a million years ago when I was in college I was working a full-time job and I had two part-time jobs and I was in school full time I was in physical therapy like probably 10 hours a week I was exhausted I was like a zombie constantly but when I would drive home at night from class I mean it was like after 11 o'clock at night and I would drive home I would drive along this road that bordered orange groves and I would drive with my windows down and just in the heavy dewy like the wet humid air the smell of those orange blossoms just lingered. And like even now I like there's nothing that makes me feel like that. Like there was just so much joy in that for me in such a it's just such an exhausting season. Find it guys find it in your lives wherever it is it's a hot bath it's particularly good cup of coffee you know whatever works for you and when it's small don't disqualify it. It's this it's it's just as good as something big the joy from from the smile of a of a little one can be as as awesome as the joy from you know a new car. Like it joy is joy and don't apologize like don't feel bad for enjoying it. Like no matter how bad your circumstances are like don't feel guilty. Don't feel bad in any way about enjoying those moments those things that bring you closer to God. You know I think about David a lot right um it's I don't know David is dear to me particularly dear to me because my husband reminds me of David just in the beautiful loving heart that he has for God he wasn't perfect David did some dumb things but what he did beautifully was just love God with a beautifully open full heart of love for God. And when you read through the Psalms and I mean David wrote so much of that there's so much talk about the joy and the the peace and the comfort and the safety that he takes from just knowing that his God is there. In the middle of the night when you wake up and I'm guessing I'm not the only one here that has had a panic attack in the middle of the night because life just felt overwhelming in those moments things feel tough you know in in the in the two o'clock hour of the night right you know if the the thought comes up that it doesn't have to be like that lean into it lean into just knowing that God is there with you just like David did, right? Imagine being I mean sleeping outside under the stars in the absolute pitch dark except for the the light that the stars and the moon would bring, you know, knowing that you're you're on duty, you're looking out for creatures that are weaker, that you're the one that's in charge, that you're the one that has to keep them safe, that, you know, that that responsibility falls on you. And as I you know talk about this situation you know with David being the shepherd it sounds a whole lot like being a parent to me. You know, knowing that your kids are upstairs, that they're sleeping and that you are the one who watches out for them, who takes care of them, who who needs to make sure that they stay safe and meet their needs. And if they're kids that are sick or if they're kids that you know that have a disability or a difference, you know, there's there's so many other things that come up in terms of protection, right? Because it's not only protecting them in you know in the typical ways that you know that you would have to protect someone who doesn't have the skills or the abilities to keep themselves alive on their own. But you also now have to protect them from you know from injury uh from the world from from the unkindness of of strangers or sometimes other kids are just so mean. And when I think about how that parallels with the situation that David had he must have had some really dark two in the mornings you know and still the joy of the Lord was with him always and in those moments in those darkest hours you know you can't look up always and see a beautiful sunset or the hibiscus that's blooming right outside your window or whatever. And in those moments there's still joy and it still abides because it's in the nearness of God. All of those things all of the little small places where joy lives those are all reflections of the nearness of God. And that's really what it comes down to there's so much joy there's safety there's peace there's hope but there's so much joy in the nearness and in the love the absolute abiding unending love of God for us. So guys in those you know in those dark moments it's there. The joy is there just as much as it is in the bright sunlight of you know two in the afternoon and it's always accessible to you you know if you're someone who feels like it's just not appropriate or it makes you feel vulnerable to grab onto some joy it's okay. Do it anyway because if whatever the the circumstances that brought the joy the source of it was God and he's not going anywhere. You know he never has and he he never ever will. So this week in terms of practical things that you can do to find joy pray about it. Pray ask God to spotlight it for you to highlight where where joyful things are um ask him to draw your attention to those beautiful things you know whether they're in children or the kindness of strangers or you know really good chicken noodle soup or you know whatever it is whatever the the the little things are um he's the source of all of that. And so just ask him to draw your attention to it. Shoot for three a day shoot for three small things a day that just bring you just a moment of joy and even though you might walk away from it even though it might just be something that passes literally in less than a second the noticing of it and the joy that comes with it can stay with you like for so much longer. When you see them, call them out loud say them out loud and just you know just real thank you, God, thank you so much for for the smell of that coffee because you know it reminds me of of you know the hope of a fresh morning or you know whatever it is, whatever it brings to you. Don't disqualify it because it's small. Don't apologize for enjoying it. Just lean in just receive it. If joy shows up don't fight it don't argue with it. Just take it in let it feed you let it sustain you let it give you strength to face those difficult things that are still there like they they haven't gone away but let the joy let it just give you fuel to keep going and and keep fighting. Thank you so much for spending this time with me and just for indulging me in in talking about something that I feel really passionately about. We are uh we're growing and it's because of you guys it's it's because of you listening it's because of you sharing episodes with you know with a friend that you think it might help or talking about it um liking something on social media there's so many ways that you're helping us um to grow and you know we notice we notice our new cities it I mean it's just it's so special to us and um that's something that we don't take for granted. So thank you um for that. If there's anything that you wanted to talk about or if there's something that you want us to talk about or if you wanted us to pray for you or if you wanted to pray together with us um just reach out. You can um you can always email us it's uh prayer at unshakenministries dot org or you can use um Christy at unshakenministries dot org or tony at un unshakenministries dot org and we're here and we would love to hear from you because we really do see you as friends. We may not have met face to face or we may have but we love you we care about you and we wish you all the joy in the world. I know that the struggle is going to be there anyway so I will pray for us right now that the joy will also show up. God, we come before you this evening so grateful that you bring so many circumstances into our lives that just show us your love in such just beautiful tangible ways. I would ask that you please just in every heart just awaken an awareness of that. Help us to look out for it. Help us to watch for those those joyful moments especially like the harder things are and the darker it seems please help us to just search more intently for the beauty that you put into our lives to sustain us and to just remind us of your nearness and your faithfulness. Please in those really dark nights please just remind us to take strength in your nearness and really just feel the joy of the Lord. Your nearness with us can bring so much joy even in those just terrifying moments. Please help us to love you openheartedly like David did just to take joy in that friendship, that relationship, that love that's from us to you and really from you to us even more overwhelmingly God please keep our friends safe um give them courage and strength to just continue through the week we thank you for them we thank you for every single person that hears this message and we love you God and all these things I ask in your son's beautiful name. Amen. All right friends uh thank you again for the time that you spent and just for um the indulgence of um talking about joy and uh we'll reach out again next week. Talk to you soon