Kristy 0:06

Welcome to Unshaken, the podcast where unwavering faith meets real life. I'm Kristy, and together with my husband Tony, we dive into authentic conversations, offering biblical insights and sharing stories that inspire resilience, especially for families navigating the unique challenges of disabilities. Join us each week as we explore faith, family, and the journeys that keep us grounded in Christ. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's stand firm together. Hi friends. Welcome back to Unshaken. This is Kristy. I'm here with Tony, my amazing husband. Today we want to talk about remembrance. God knows us, he knows his children, and he knows that we can know what's true, that we can have been taught, shown, led, grown, developed in all of the ways that he would mean for us. And still sometimes we can lose our bearings. And he gives us ways, I think, to come back to that through remembrance. And some of that happens through our regular life. And some of it happens in some very specific gifts that he's given us through his scripture and through his son. And today I want to just talk through some of that stuff. So for starters, I can tell you, when I was a little girl, I grew up in Fort Lauderdale. And I grew up on the New River. My family's home, the land surrounding the house merged into our next door neighbor. And those people were Dallas and Mary Lou. And I was little. I was like four when we moved there, barely four when we moved there. And Dallas was probably he was in his 70s. And he was my very best friend. And I would go to his house every single day. And I would knock on his door and ask his wife if he could come out to play with me. And he would. I followed him like a shadow. He took me places and showed me things. He showed me plants and um taught me a lot about how things grow. And one of the memories that I hold really dear to my heart, it's the smell of his garage. And I think part of that is tied up in it's the same smell that my grandparents' breezeway had. And what I think it is is old guy garage smell. I think it's oil and rust and probably dust. But when Dallas would take me in his garage, there would be mason jars full of things. And it was all like in shelving. It was somehow organized. It was almost like a library. I remember he had a metal lunchbox full of random screws. I mean, just rows and rows of stuff like that. But when I think of that smell, and I can sit here on this couch today and smell that same exact smell. When I think about it, and when I get in that place in my brain, what I think about is it's almost like being transported back to being a little girl who was prioritized by somebody who taught me things, who valued me as a little kid. And I think there's just, I don't know, there's just something so emotional about that and so grounding to me as a grown woman to how I started out as a little girl.

Tony 3:27

When you have that familiar smell, is it the garage that you miss? Is it the feeling of being with Dallas and Mary Lou? Just the whole overall experience of it. What is so grounding to you in that memory and in those smells?

Kristy 3:45

I think the smell takes me back to a time and place, but that time and place was just so overarchingly, it was around Dallas. Like he was so foundationally important to me. Like I am who I am as a 52-year-old woman in large part because of him. He took me under his wing. Like he took me everywhere, like all day, every day, like hours and hours we spent together. He called me his pud, which to me is a very special thing. I call my big girl PUD. It's just like magic. And I think it's he loved me so beautifully. And out of that love, he taught me so much about how people should be. He taught me facts about everything. But behind and beyond all of that, he taught me patience and love, perseverance. Like he taught me so much. And it's that it's that feeling of just being loved and steered in such a nurturing way, I think that it takes me back to.

Tony 4:48

Interesting because God does the same thing for us, but especially he did the same thing for the people of Israel as he was bringing them out and establishing his relationship with them. It's in the Old Testament. We we call it the uh Shema, the book of Deuteronomy, chapter six. It starts in verse four, and I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but I do think that the beginning of this is really important because I think it points to what you were feeling, and really what God wants us all to remember about Him. And it says, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your strength. Just that foundational piece that we are to just love God with everything that we have, with all of our mind, our spirit, our emotions, our bodies, just first and foremost, before anything else, love God. That's where it starts.

Kristy 5:55

It's true. As I imagine what it feels like to be back in that garage with Dallas, it isn't so much now about teaching me anything new. Like that's done. He gave me the foundation. What it does, I think, is remind me of what is true, of what is foundational and most basic to me. I think it's kind of cool. It's like God knows that we need that kind of remembering. I feel like he almost planted seeds for us that way so that we would have that for his truths as well.

Tony 6:26

You may know exactly what is true about God, but still feel scattered enough that sometimes that truth can feel distant, you know, really far away. But when we are reminded, and when God knows that we need to be reminded, it's not that our faith is like weak or our faith is gone. God just knows us and He, I mean, He formed us, He knows everything about us, and He knows how we remember stuff and how little moments, whether it's a smell or whether it's uh a time and place, how those things can just remind us and bring us back to that truth of we should love God with all of our minds, with all of our hearts, with all of our strength. And those reminders are are not meant to be a cause of shame, they're meant to give you strength, actually, in my mind, so that you can go forward and you can go forward with that confidence that you know what, God does love me, and this is so that I remember to love God with everything that I've got.

Kristy 7:40

It's like a reset almost.

Tony 7:42

Absolutely. So many times we can know what is true and still lose our bearings. We can get to a point where we're just checking the boxes and going through the emotions of different things because life is hard. You know, life comes at you and just does life. We get busy, sometimes we get overwhelmed, sometimes there's grief, there's sometimes there's stress, there's sometimes it's fear, emotion can throw us out of whack. And I think when we can get back to those anchors, I think it just has a way of just snapping us back to where we need to be. I know that for me growing up, being Puerto Rican, rice and beans is foundational. Smelling that in the air when it's being cooked and prepared, it just has a powerful way of just bringing me back to that warm kitchen when I was growing up. And you know, it reminds me of the Salsa music that would often be playing in the background, and the movement that was going on in the kitchen, and me sitting at the kitchen table watching my mom cook, talking to her about whatever was going on, all of those things. Just when I smell that just familiar aroma of rice, and specifically the red beans that that are being cooked on the stove, it really does just bring me back to a wonderful place in in my childhood.

Kristy 9:12

So it smells like home.

Tony 9:14

It absolutely does. It just when I smell that in the air, it absolutely just smells like home. That's just such a joyful feeling for me in those moments.

Kristy 9:26

You know, it's funny because we keep talking about smells, and sensory memory is so very powerful. It's part of how we're wired, how God made us. For me, I think of when the kids were little, we would spend a day at the pool. And when you get a little kid out of the pool, they smell like chlorine and sunscreen. And even I would plunk them in the bath and wash their hair. But even after the bath, they would still smell vaguely of sunscreen and chlorine. And now, anytime I smell that at the pool at the beach, what comes back to me is like, you are their mother. You are their mama, their center. And it gives me such a sense of centering on that. So I think I get you. I think I have the same experience that you do, just with different things that bring me home.

Tony 10:12

When we say something smells or tastes like home, what is it that it's carrying us back to in that sense?

Kristy 10:20

It's almost like when you save a game, you're playing a video game and you're in a safe place, you've got what you need. So you save the game. It's almost like it resets us back to that place where everything is good and we are rooted in a specific direction. And it it kind of brings us back to that decision point where we're able to then either correct where we might have been off course or reinforce the direction that we were going as the right direction. But I think it brings us foundationally back to a safe, true, rooted place.

Tony 10:54

I 100% agree with you. And I think when life has pulled us in a hundred different directions, as life always does, when we come back to those anchor points, to the things that are true, it doesn't mean that we're going backwards, but we're just coming back to that reference point.

Kristy 11:13

Yeah.

Tony 11:13

That's where that faithfulness, if it needs to restart, it can. But like you said, if we're going in the right direction, it reinforces it so that we can keep going. If there's any refueling, anything like that, we can take that minute, we can take that pause, go forward in a in a better place, maybe in a in a stronger way in some cases.

Kristy 11:38

God gives us those things in our lives, but he also gives us things scripturally, directives, mandates that take us back to those moments because he knows we wander off, he knows that we get off course or we get busy.

Tony 11:54

He's steady, he's not going to change. He is there, and so we're able to kind of reorient ourselves if we've lost any of our bearings. If we need to get reoriented, God gives us many different ways, you know, to do it. One of the ways that comes to mind for me is the Lord's Supper, taking the bread and the wine, and just remembering that memorial remembrance of the Last Supper. For me, that always is a reorientation point for me whenever we do that at church or or wherever we are.

Kristy 12:32

I think it's so beautiful how so many of the things that Jesus did that that fulfill, you know, prior promises, or it's those little nuances that kind of lay the way so many other things were going on, and he knew what was going to happen. But on the night he was betrayed, he took bread when he had given thanks and he broke it and he shared it. And then he said, Do this as often as you as you have this in remembrance of me. And I think there's value in the very specific sequence of events, but also in the directive to do it in remembrance of him. It just brings us back to that absolute foundation of his love. It's soul food, it feeds you, it's it's a place to start over if that's what you need.

Tony 13:27

Paul even speaks to this and he reminds the church, 1 Corinthians chapter 11. It starts in verse 23, and he reminds them of this practice of taking the Lord's Supper and why they do it, and why it's so important. And you just laid that out like it is it's so that we remember, it's just so important that we never take that for granted. Scripture gives us as God's people the words and the actions, all of the different things that help us to keep truth right in front of us. I think that's one of the most beautiful and underrated things about the Bible that we are so privileged to have in front of us.

Kristy 14:18

Another piece that's important is that he doesn't tell us to do this in isolation, he tells us to do it together. I had a pastor that I just really loved. What a cool pastor, what a cool guy, just all around. And he would say, you know, God has prepared a feast for you and he wants you to have the abundance, he wants you to have this feast. This is the kids' table. Come to the kids' table. And for me, that was so impactful because when I think about all the other times that I have been at the kids' table or set a kid's table, it's been with such when I've said it for our kids, it's been just so carefully thought out, things that mattered to them, the things that would make them feel seen and loved and give that sense of safety and all of those things. And gosh, I remember for me, all of the grown-ups were there and they had created this little haven for us. So we didn't have to be part of their boring conversation. We could, we could have each other, we could have the fellowship with the cousins and, you know, all of that together and still know that our safe adults were right there and they had provided everything for us, every good thing that we love to eat. And we knew that dessert was coming. And, you know, a lot of times it was around a holiday or a birthday. There might be presents or celebrating. It's just such a such a filling thing, you know, for my heart to think about being at the kids' table and that God sets a kid's table with Jesus. Like Jesus set a kid's table for the disciples that night and made it beautiful for them and told them, like, keep doing this, guys, like keep doing this same thing to remember me, to remember my love, to remember the hope that is in this night, the good that will come from all of this. I don't know. It just gives me such a sense of wonder. It makes me want to tear up a little bit.

Tony 16:15

Anytime that I've taken the Lord's Supper, it always brings up that image for me of what that room must have looked like. For me, more importantly, what it must have felt for all of them to be around that table. And for Jesus, like you said, making that table and trying to give them, even though they didn't realize it, strength and encouragement and something to hang on to.

Kristy 16:46

Yeah.

Tony 16:47

Because he knew what was coming.

Kristy 16:50

However, hard it was going to be for him, he was thinking about them, how hard it would be for them. He loved so completely and so beautifully that he he couldn't just leave them hanging. And he would never just leave us hanging. That's I think that's what it's about, right?

Tony 17:07

I love the image that that always, at least for me, that that just comes to mind because here is a Passover meal that they have celebrated every year that they've been alive, and that's what it's meant for. It's meant as a celebration, remembering what God did for the Israelites as they came out of Egypt, as they came out of the darkest period that they had experienced up until that point for them, like it truly is like that celebration. And Jesus wants them to continue to remember Him in these moments, knowing what's coming. There are days when the gospel, scripture, worship, all of these Christianese words that that we use can feel more like just something that we say or do, and it's just rote. But when you can get to a point where something actually brings you back to that point where you feel the moment, the heaviness because you know what's coming, the joy in yes, this is coming, but we know how the story ends. When you can reconnect, it's no longer just a checkoff. That's that reconnection, it's that reorientation to move forward. And it and what I love and and what sorry guys, what is emotional for me, it just resonates, that truth just resonates within you, and it just you remember it, and then you're able to receive it all over again. It's no longer ordinary, it's now extraordinary because of the reorientation that event or that song or that piece of scripture has done. When you come back.

Kristy 19:04

Yes. So we know, right? We know what Jesus did, we know the truth of the gospel, we know how that whole story ends for all of us, but we're human and we wander off. And sometimes life is hard, and we can intellectually know how the story ends, but not feel the comfort of it because of our immediate circumstances. And I feel like those are the gifts that take us back to the comfort. And there's so many, right? Like you were mentioning songs. I think another great example is the Lord's prayer. When we don't know how to pray, or even when we do know how to pray, it's those words that bring us back to what he taught us. He said, Do it like this. I'm doing it like this, you do it like this. This is the path. If you really think through the words, it's like a summary of everything we need to know and to be doing and to be hoping for and working toward. The comfort is there, we're protected. Like all of the pieces of the story come to light in that prayer. I think with so many things where we know the words, I think all of us probably are guilty of, you know, at some point across our lives, just going, saying the words and they don't really register, right? Where, you know, we know how it goes, we we recite it. I think it's in the moments where we really need it, when we do go back to the meaning of those words, when we do really think through what we're saying, it's that same restorative way. It's the same as it has the same impact as holy communion. It brings us back to the nuts and bolts, to the foundation of what Jesus has for us. And it reminds us of our roots. It takes us back to the absolute, most basic part of our faith and our relationship with Him and resets everything. And then we can go forward from there. And maybe, maybe we were already, you know, in a good place. I'm not saying that everybody's always off track or that, you know, that we only would pray the Lord's Prayer when we feel lost, but wow, it sure does help you get found, doesn't it? When I was a little, well, not even that little, when I was in eighth grade, took a communion class, uh confirmation class, so that we were able to receive communion as adults in the church. And one of the things that they taught us to do was to go phrase by phrase through that prayer and to identify an image that we would always like align with that piece of the prayer. And so as I say it, even now, like 40 something years later, I still try to always imagine those things. And it's funny because they're because a 12 year old kid thought them up. So they're not super adulty necessarily, but but they do help me to stay grounded. In the words that I'm saying. And I feel like that's a gift. And that came through, you know, through the pastor that was leading the class, which thank you, God. There's so many other examples. It could be worship music. It could be, there's some old hymns that get to me like that where you're singing and it takes you back to a lot of the Easter hymns get me like that, where I'm like, oh my gosh, he was a man who was crucified and he died. And he rose again. Like it's just so majestic. I guess you could almost say it's like mechanical reminders. You know what I mean? And I think every one of them is a gift from God.

Tony 22:38

The piece on prayer that always gets me, it's in uh Matthew chapter six. Jesus says, and when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans. Like Kristy said, the Lord's prayer, you get back to basics. That is so grounding. What we're trying to do to reorient ourselves, either to continue on the path we're on or to get back to the path that we're that God wants us to be on. I think that this also applies to marriage. And whenever I think about a strong marriage, I always come back to Ephesians chapter 5, you know, verses 21 through 33. And just the very beginning of this is just submit to one another. This brings for you, this brings in a piece of scripture that I know means a lot to you.

Kristy 23:36

Yeah, it's the piece from Ephesians around a cord of three strands. It's so strong. I just really love thinking of marriage as, I mean, like it's two people, right? It's it's you and me. We are the people in this marriage. But it's not just us, it's God. And when you think about, I mean, a cord of three strands is a braid. And when you think of what that looks like, think about hair, right? And it's what you get is instead of a loose, untamed everywhere situation, you have a cord and it's tidy and it's tight. And there's three strands, three cords that are wound around each other in a way that they hold together. It's just strong. It's so strong. And you can't separate one out from the others. I guess that's the other thing, right? When you have a rope, when you have a cord of three strands, one doesn't just slide out. They stay together. And when we think of, when I think of our marriage as us and God intertwined with each other in that way of three, it's just such an uplifting, encouraging, almost exciting thing because it takes something that could be very vulnerable. Like we all know how how fragile marriage can be and all of the ways that can go wrong. And we all know the statistics. And we all know that even in good, solid, strong marriages, Christian marriages, stuff happens. But when you have the strength of three, it takes you from a situation where those things can be marriage-threatening. They become hard things that the three deal with together. And that cord of three can't be broken. It's such a special, special gift that he gives us to be intertwined with us in that strong, beautiful way. This is just so impactful to me. So of the three strands, I am one, the King of kings is another, and his prince is the third. So that tells me something both about how I need to interact with the others, the King of kings and his prince, but it also tells me something about my place. It tells me something about who I am in relation to the others. And when I get all twisted up about this, that, or whatever, the most foundational truth that I can come back to is that I am the daughter of the King of kings. I am his princess. And he has so much for me. He has a life for me. He has gifts for me. He has just treasure beyond measure for me in eternity. And it all goes back to those foundational things. It goes back to what Jesus did. It goes back to the reminder to be mindful of that, to be celebratory of that, to celebrate it together with other people. All of that is tied up in the same bundle for me. It's these standout remembrances that he has laid out for us. If you do these things, if you do these things in remembrance of me, in mindfulness of me, everything's going to be better. And for me, it is. When things are not better, I have wandered off. I'm so grateful for these tools that he's given us to bring us back.

Tony 27:07

I think it's also important to say that you don't have to manufacture a fresh spiritual experience. I'm sure that as you've listened to myself and Kristy on this episode, you've heard the emotion in our voices from time to time. And for us, it is emotional because of the importance of this. But the absence of emotion isn't a bad thing. If you're not an emotional person, or emotion is not a requirement, it's about using these things that God has given us, whether it's prayer, whether it's singing, whether it's reading scripture, or you know, gathering with our church, you know, body, any of these things can help reorient us. And then we can just do these things. As we're doing them, we can allow the time for our heart to kind of catch up. And that's okay. That's not a bad thing.

Kristy 28:13

We come empty, needing to re-receive it. And he's given us a mechanism to come back, to come home to him empty and say, God, I need it again. You know, here I am in this position that you've given me. I'm asking you, I need it back. Please restore it to me. It's not a always a new truth, right? We're not learning something different. It's a remembrance, it's it's having restored to us the covenant, the joy, the sacrifice, the love through through the mechanism of these sacraments and remembrances and gifts.

Tony 28:51

It's important for us to know and to remember that the practice is not the destination. Saying the words isn't the magic bullet that's gonna turn everything around. It's what do those words do? What does that smell do? What does that song do? That hymn do that gives us that pause to kind of get back to pointing us in in the right direction sometimes. Or it starts the process of getting filled back up because, like Kristy said, maybe you're going in the right direction, but you're just on empty, and you just need to be with God to get filled back up to just keep going, and that's okay. That's okay. We have to make sure that we don't turn the practice, whether that be having the Lord's Supper or singing the song or saying the Lord's Prayer, we have to make sure that that we don't turn just the singular practice into the finish line, because it's not

Kristy 30:00

and there's any number of ways to to be close with God. God wants us to be in relationship with him at all times, you know. And when I'm bumbling through my day and muttering this, that, you know, this request, this thank you, this whatever to him as I just kind of travel through, that has value too. It's not that it has to be these particular mile posts. Tony's right. It's not the saying of the words, it's the position that they put you in to re-receive those gifts. Those positions that he's he's created for us are aligned with the re-receiving, the restoration of those benefits. I don't even know what else to call it, the gifts. And so whether we go strong or whether we come weak or empty or exhausted or excited and proud or, you know, whatever it is, when we come to him in those covenant places, I think it's the love that gets amplified, right? It's it's the reminders of being rooted in him and that he is the foundation of every good thing. I think that's the power piece. It's the reminder of the of the rootedness.

Tony 31:13

If a practice has become hollow, you don't have to pretend that it all of a sudden feels meaningful again. It's just meant to point us towards God who can.

Kristy 31:26

Yep. He brings the meaning, he brings that piece.

Tony 31:30

And faithfulness doesn't require any sort of novelty, it's just focusing back on God. And I think that when we do that, we're able to then remember our way home. And we're able to look at, okay, what has God given me? What has God given Kristy? What has God given us that helps bring us back when life has scattered us and scattered our attention in a hundred different ways?

Kristy 32:03

Who am I because of him? What is true? Not necessarily what is different, but remind me, God, what is true.

Tony 32:12

Maybe you don't need a brand new way to come back to God. Maybe it's just about receiving what God has already placed right in front of you, whether that be a prayer, maybe it's a favorite and specific passage that you know that you can come back to. You know, maybe it is gathering with the church if you haven't gone in a while. Maybe just walking into that building again and seeing the familiar faces, the sights, sounds, maybe even smells of being in that building again. Whatever it is, it can simply just help place what is true and what has always been true back in front of us again. That's the restore point, that's the reorientation back to who he is and back to where we need to go.

Kristy 33:05

Yep. And it's the ordinary things that put us in a position to be directed back to those extraordinary things. Again, that's his piece. So I guess there's value in thinking through where has my relationship maybe become wooden or my my practices have become maybe a little rote or a little disconnected. And like you mentioned earlier, that's human, right? But I can be mindful of that and look for for that restoration opportunity. And he's told us, you know, if you need that, these aren't the only places you can get it, but here are some places you can definitely get it. And so I, you know, I would, I would challenge you and me both and and you too, friends, to just think about it. Think about the need for that restoration and and, you know, whether that's something that that is rising in your life and, you know, and and go back to his directives and and look for that restore point, look for the place where you can go to be reminded of who you are and whose you are and the right path forward, whether it's the path you've always been on, or maybe you you need to make a little left turn there.

Tony 34:17

I would just end this by using a couple verses from Colossians. It's in chapter three, it starts with verse 16, and it says this let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, through hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Singing to God with gratitude in your hearts, and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through Him. If we can start there, God will meet us in that place and start to fill us back up and give us the things that we need to move forward on the right path.

Kristy 35:04

Father, we come before you so humble and grateful for all the gifts that you've given us for Jesus and for our salvation through Him. We thank you and we praise you that you are among us, that you are woven into our marriages, that you are among our families, that you are with us through every situation, that you're with our kids when we can't be with them. We are so grateful for for the places you've given us to the portals home to you, where we can go and meet you and know that you will restore in us the joy and the comfort of salvation and your grace and your love will show up and meet us there. Please be with us, guide our steps, help us to be mindful of you and to see you and to acknowledge you and to interact with you in these beautiful ordinary daily things that happen, whether it's the smell of beans cooking or, you know, a kid with pool hair. Just thank you for those opportunities to get back to the basics and for, again, the ways that you've provided for us to get back to the basics with you for all the beautiful reminders and ways to help us be more steadfast in our faith and in the joy and celebration of our salvation. We come to you in gratitude and in all of the things that we ask, we ask them in the beautiful name of Jesus. We love you, Father. Amen.

Tony 36:33

Amen. Thank you guys so much. Hope you guys have a great day and a great rest of your week. And we'll see you next time.

Kristy 36:39

Thank you, friends. We love you. We're praying for you.